Feeling anxious about a complicated conversation?

Everyone experiences times of stress, but how we choose to handle those times can differ significantly. Do you freeze up, run away, or get combative? Do you persevere and stay engaged? Today I want to share with you some tips on how to better manage your anxiety, especially when it comes to feeling anxious about difficult conversations.

When I’m feeling anxious, I try to see it not as a negative mental state, but rather as a flashing light that reminds me I need to stay on top of my game. As pleasant as I suppose it would be, relationships and situations cannot be harmonious one-hundred percent of the time. Sometimes, the only way out of a situation is to move through it, even when it’s uncomfortable or downright scary.

If the prospect of engaging in a conversation sparks anxiety for you, there are a few simple steps you can take right off the bat to reduce tension. First, plan for the discussion and think about exactly what message you are conveying and why. Once you’ve done that, utilize a colleague as a sounding board to see if your planned conversation needs any edits. Often when I am feeling nervous about a conversation, I will make it a point to acknowledge my anxiety when speaking to the person. Being honest and open with the person about how you feel heading into the conversation can alleviate some of your stress.

Before engaging in the conversation, set yourself up for success. Perhaps you do a breathing exercise, some light stretching, or participate in another activity that helps prepare you to put your best foot forward.

Feeling anxious during an awkward conversation is normal. Try to remind yourself of other times you felt a similar tension and handled it well. Be patient and kind to yourself, don’t react impulsively, and try to use reflective listening during your conversation.

People who thrive during times of stress and build resilience:

• Persevere, stay engaged and contribute
• Successful history of managing stress
• Believe they can influence outcomes
• See stressors as challenging opportunities to learn and become a better person
• Show empathy
• Open to change
• Reflect on a realistic perspective of the problem
• Have a support system, social connectivity, and a balanced life
• Know their capabilities
• Search for resilient role models
• Practice realistic optimism
• Moral compass and clarity of purpose
• Lead with signature strengths
• Effective problem-solving skills
• Identify goals
• Take action