Are my colleagues stressed out? How would I know?

This week a client asked “How do I know if my associates are stressed out? It’s so hard to gauge how they’re doing when we’re working remotely.” I thought that was such a great question because we don’t want to fall into the out of sight out of mind trap. How do we connect and stay engaged with one another in our remote worlds?

• Even if we can’t see someone we can ask Reflective Questions like: How are you holding up? What’s the toughest part of this for you? What’s helping you get through it? Who do you rely on for support? Has there been another time when you’ve been in a crisis and you handled it successfully? How did you do that?

• It’s going to take a concerted effort and a plan to remember to ask Reflective Questions because it’s easier to assume people are doing fine or we don’t want to sound intrusive or rock the boat and we’re all busy. Reflective Questions take time. Don’t make the mistake of asking them if you’re unavailable to listen. Their purpose is to open a pathway to a deeper dialogue.

• That means you need to honor the questions, the conversation and the relationship. If you review your emails or scan the internet while your colleague is talking on the phone you’ve broken the contract. You’re losing trust instead of building it. Don’t tell yourself they won’t know you’re reading your emails. They’ll figure it out. Instead turn away from your computer. Make sure you’re present and settle in. You’re asking your colleague a personal question. They deserve your attention.

• Concerned about sounding intrusive? Start off by talking about yourself. We’re all struggling. This is a time to show your vulnerability. We build a foundation for reflective conversations by being open, sharing our story, listening attentively and asking the right questions without judging.

• Talk about what’s been tough for you, mistakes you made, how you recovered, who you turned to for support and how you got through a crisis. Be transparent. Be humble. Be honest. Then ask, “What’s this been like for you?”