“What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.” – Helen Keller

Over the last few weeks, we’ve discussed the seven characteristics of trusted leadership. So far, we’ve covered honesty, social intelligence, and courage. Today, we will explore the next characteristic: self-reflection.

Being self-reflective means being able to step back and see ourselves in action. It’s the ability to know our strengths and shortcomings and accept both equally, knowing that we have the power to self-assess and self-correct. Recognizing our strengths, quirks, and personal struggles signifies our security. When we practice self-reflection, we don’t have to hide from our flaws, be defensive, or overprotect ourselves from the criticism of others.

However, self-reflection can still be challenging and complex because we may feel defensive or anxious about what may arise. I recommend engaging in self-reflection when you have time to get settled and feel comfortable first. For some, this might mean deep breathing, stretching, walking, or doing another relaxing exercise beforehand. Remind yourself that self-reflection aims not to judge yourself harshly but to get to know yourself better.

Self-reflection can take many forms, but a practical way to start is by focusing on a specific situation or relationship you want to understand better or improve. Begin by asking yourself gentle questions about your beliefs, emotions, and thoughts related to the situation. Approach this exercise as if you’re gathering data, not judging or criticizing. With time, this practice will help you become aware of your habitual or unconscious behaviors.

When we adopt a reflective mindset, we open ourselves to learning and become curious about ourselves and others. By practicing self-reflection, we enhance our self-awareness. This openness and self-awareness attract others to share ideas and collaborate as they sense our genuine interest in them. We become less defensive and can reflect on their interactions in a way that adds value, fostering stronger relationships.

Ultimately, self-reflection supports trusted leadership. If we can self-reflect, self-assess, and self-correct, others see us as more confident and effective. We see the big picture, adapt, and make the right changes to get back on track. We become more aware of why we do what we do. That inspires others and reinforces their confidence in us. Being self-reflective while practicing compassion toward yourself can only increase your value as a trusted leader.

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose” Dolly Parton.